Wednesday, February 20, 2013

One Step...Two Steps...Baby Steps!

That's exactly what I feel when walking daily in faith.
Human nature always wants to know or at least have a certainty about what's gonna happen in the future.
But that's not how life works, right?
The more I spend time with my Heavenly Father, the more I know that we really have to walk daily in faith in the midst of all uncertainty. One step at a time.

So, I've been a Christian my whole life, but little did I know about living a Christ-like life. Fortunately for me, my life style changed due to the major crisis I faced last year.

Basically last year was really like a roller coaster for me, full of uncertainty.
And most of it was due to my career issue. After my intern contract had ended on Sept 2011, I was not able to find a job until the very last minute.
And being an international student under OPT, I had a time limit to find a job in the States. What's OPT? You can google it, I'm too lazy to give the explanation LOL.

Anyway, my OPT ended on Feb 13th 2012, and I still remembered it was nearly January but I had no single job offer. Only interviews after interviews.
There was a promising opportunity with a certain company, but at that time I was not sure where it would lead me.

The process itself was actually pretty speedy. I applied, and within that day they replied me back. A few days after, I got a phone interview from them, and the following week they scheduled an on-site interview.

But then I had to wait for about a month or so after the on-site interview for the decision, whether or not they were gonna hire me.
Within that waiting period, I really felt like I was lost. I didn't know what to do or where to go. It was like walking in the middle of a tunnel. I knew there would be a light at the end of it, but during that time, only darkness.

I was so close to give up and ready to go back to Indonesia, since reality showed me there was almost zero chance.
Thank God though I didn't really listen to my feelings and decided to just follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. Deep down in my Spirit and heart I knew God has given me this 1 position, even though I had not seen it yet.
So I prayed and fasted, and just filled my days with relationship with the Lord.
It was not easy at all. I had to make constant efforts to do it. My human nature and flesh wanted me to do nothing but worry, worry, worry, and worry to death. On the other hand, my Spirit kept telling me this verse from Matthew 6:34 whenever I was worried:

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." - The Message


Like I said earlier, it was not easy at all!
But I tried my best to constantly remind myself with this verse and think about His goodness and promises, instead of thinking about what was in front of me.
Worry wouldn't help me even just 1 bit anyway.
The key was to keep my eyes on Jesus all the time. I also kept on speaking His promises over my life loudly. I put up all verses that encouraged me and would be a really good reminder during that time on the wall. So whenever I woke up, I'd read God's words first thing in the morning.

Then my breakthrough came in 3 days before my OPT ended.
It's still fresh in my memory, it was Friday, Feb 10th 2012 at 12pm. I was just doing my daily chores in the morning and was checking my email. Suddenly there was an email stating about the job offer from the company I was interviewing with. Finally they decided to offer me a full time position and they were also willing to sponsor me!
How awesome was that???

Some people might say I was lucky enough or because I worked hard and didn't give up. But I knew myself. I was actually beyond my limit as a human. The only thing that kept me going was Jesus. I wouldn't have had that much faith if the Holy Spirit hadn't been with me all the time. And I wouldn't have seen a miracle if God had not stretched my faith and my spiritual life beyond what I could be.

That event was a turning point of my life. A big one.
He used it to change the way I live my life, so I can experience His fullness.
I'm still nowhere near perfect, but looking back, I don't wanna go back to where I was.
Well, my life before was decent. But I was pretty slow or sometimes even stagnant in my spiritual progression.
I think the main problem lied within my mindset. I used to think I'd lose a lot of things that I liked to do if I was being even more serious in my relationship with Jesus. I wouldn't be able to do this or that, or go here or there anymore. That was why I didn't really wanna step up in my spiritual journey, even though I was already ministering, and already sharing about His goodness on this blog.

But oh boy, how wrong I was. After being in a serious relationship with Jesus (yes, Christianity is about relationship with Jesus, fellas. Not just some doctrines), I found out that the thing I used to enjoy wasn't that enjoyable anymore.
Just like what Apostle Paul said in the bible (I forgot the verse, but it's something along the line of the life he had in Jesus was more precious and enjoyable then the life he had before).
And from that point on, my spiritual life has progressed rapidly within a short period of time.

So, even though now I'm jobless again (I'll share this later after God answers everything), I'm not afraid that I won't be able to find a new job. I still have my time limit as an International worker, but I believe in my Heavenly Father more than I believe what the world says.
I have this peace in my heart that can't be bought by money. Some of my friends said I'm so relaxed and laid back on responding and handling the whole problem.

Well, the thing is I have a God who is able to do the miraculous; a God who's with me and in me; a God who fights against my enemies and will definitely give me victories; a God who knows the plan He has for me, the plan for good and not for disaster, the plan to give me future and a hope; and a God who's promised to make me to ride on the high places of the the earth, and will feed me with the heritage of Jacob.

Whom shall I fear? :)

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LOL that was quite a serious one, wasn't it?
Then next entry will be more chillax, light and sweet!
I promise! :D


Until then,

Mutia~

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