Trust in Hebrew: confidence, security, and
hope.
Can also be defined as to abide and rest
inside the goodness of God. Being protected, embraced, and surrounded by His
companion and favor.
Often time I would
wonder, and wonder some more, and then pray after being tired of wondering,
asking God for clarity of something that is happening in my life.
Clarity.
Yes.
Isn’t it why we all
keep asking the “WHY?” questions?
Why is this
happening to me?
Why am I going
through this?
Why is He still not
answering my prayer after so long?
Why this and why
that.
Simply put, I want
to understand what is going on, I want to have a clearer direction and
certainty, so I can take a better control of the situation.
Unfortunately, a
relationship with God is not about having clarity over our situation. It’s not
about knowing exactly why some things happen, and some don’t. It’s not about
understanding the why, the what, the how, the where, and the when of life.
It’s about trusting
Him, even when everything doesn’t make sense.
Not easy, I know.
In fact, it’s hard.
Big time.
I was once more
like Thomas, one of Jesus’ core disciples. I had a hard time trusting Him in my
everyday life. I couldn’t trust Him enough that He was more than able to
provide, couldn’t trust Him enough that His timing was perfect, couldn’t trust
Him enough that He had a bigger and better plan for me than my own selfish
desire, couldn’t trust Him enough that He loved me more than anything to the
point He died for me on the cross, and He made me perfect according to His
image.
I was afraid to let
Him take the steering wheel and just drive me to wherever destination He had in
mind.
And that fear of
trusting Jesus; made me not being able to know my Savior intimately.
That was why for
many years of being a Christian; I kept on struggling with the same issues over
and over again. Self-image, self-worth, bitterness, rejection, pride, jealousy,
and many more issues.
Because I simply
didn’t know my God intimately.
You see; it’s
different between just knowing someone, and then knowing them intimately.
We don’t need to
trust a person to know them, but if we want to know someone intimately, trust
is required in the relationship.
The same principle
applies to our relationship with Jesus.
If we want to have
an intimate relationship with Him, we need to start trusting Him.
I know it’s hard,
because trust requires openness and vulnerability. As a human, I don’t think
anyone like to be vulnerable, since being vulnerable makes us more prone to hurt.
A while ago, when Jesus
started having a boot camp in my life, I went through a lot of things that I
didn’t understand. There were a lot of unanswered prayers, a lot of closed and
opened doors, special people who came and go, a lot of heartbreaks, pain and
tears.
And when I started
asking questions and doubt began creeping in my heart, I didn’t get the clarity
I desperately wanted, or in fact needed
to hear. I only got a constant reminder of a still small voice that whispered
gently in my heart, “Trust Me”.
Trust?
What does that even
mean? How can I trust on something that I’m not even sure what to trust? What
can I trust when everything is blurry and I have no solid ground to set my feet
upon?
But so I did.
With confusion, I began
to take a small step towards that “trust” He kept telling me to do. I was tired
to do things my own way and resulting in dead ends, so I thought, why not this
time I actually gave God a try.
When I began to walk
seriously with Him, I learned that trusting Jesus is actually a series of decision-making
process. It’s not like a magic show where our doubts, fears,
insecurities, uncertainties suddenly disappear when we give him the wheel and
let Him be the captain of our lives. It’s a daily commitment that requires our
decision. Yes, it’s up to us whether or not we want to be in sync with Him
today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today. The present.
Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do
not depend on your own understanding.” – NLT
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.” – The Message
The more I learn to
trust Him, the more He reveals His characters to me, the more I know Him, and
the deeper and more intimate our relationship is.
Now that I look
back, I’m very grateful that He didn’t give the clarity I so desired, in
exchange for a beautiful process that draws me closer to Him.
Trusting Him is the
best decision I’ve ever made in my daily life. Not that I never doubt or fear
anymore, I still do; but at least now I have more joy and peace just by knowing
who’s in charge.
When I trust Him, I
begin to realize that clarity will eventually come, but not without first
walking the path of trust.
When I trust Him, I
learn that He doesn’t require my perfect trust or faith. He simply wants me to
be faithful.
When I trust Him, I
start to understand that more than He wants me to go on a journey with Him; He
wants to go on a journey WITH me!
Ultimately, when I
trust Him, I begin to sink deeper in His perfect love.
“Every deep, intimate
relationship is rooted in trust. Of course love is at the core of the
relationship but without trust you can’t have love. I realized God is about
relationship. He is about love ultimately.”
- Mandy Dobbelmann
Notes:
A few tips that’s
proven work in taking small steps of trusting God:
- Allow the right thoughts to settle in our mind by
meditating on His words (Phil 4:8)
- Be grateful for everything He has done, is doing, and is
going to do (Ephesians 5:20, Psalm 107:1)
- Focus on your journey TODAY (Mat 6:34)
- Communicate with Him (Phil 4:6)
- Don’t wait, do it NOW!
- Last but not least, Let Him be God and do His job :)